The Problem with Lifestyle Design

The Lifestyle Designers firstly assume that we actually know what we want in life and what we value and what we’re passionate about.

Now a lot of us women, if you haven’t noticed, have been brought up with social conditioning to “be nice”, “be the good girl”, “just be quiet and let them talk”, (which means make all the decisions), we have been taught that to just please other people.

As a whole we aren’t encouraged to do what we want. Growing up how many times were you asked “What do you want?”, “What do you think?”

 

Not to mention the world wide epidemic of domestic violence. 1 in 6 women had experienced physical or sexual violence from a current or X partner. 1 in 4 woman had experienced emotional abuse by a current or former partner.

Emotional abuse generally isn’t “seen” to be abuse. It’s so rampant that it’s become “normal” for a lot of people.

58% had never contacted police so these statistics are most probably a lot higher than what can be accounted for.

Bewtween 2008 -2010 89 women were killed by their partner or former partner. That equates to nearly one women ever week being killed.

This can’t be ignored.

Statistical facts: http://anrows.org.au/sites/default/files/Violence-Against-Australian-Women-Key-Statistics.pdf

 

So yeah, if you’re a women it’s safe to say that trying to do the “right” thing and “please” everyone else doesn’t equal going after YOUR dreams and desires. As women we are natural nurturers, but we are being taken advantage of by partners who are old enough and quite capable of doing things themselves. We give and don’t get back. We are expected to just go along with that others want from us.

 

So again, I think it’s safe to say that for a lot of women, including myself, we have no idea of who we are or what we want.

 

Lifestyle designers assume we know what we want to be, do and have. Though we have no idea!

When the lifestyle designers ask us what our values are, what sort of lifestyle do we want to have, how we need to grow our business around our lifestyle, that’s kinda the whole point, and what is our business going to be? because it needs to be in total alignment with our inner most selves and our business has to be something we’re so passionate about that we could talk about it forever,  they ask us what are our top 3 goals are, our 1 & 5 year plans for what we want. They say we need to be totally authentic, totally ourselves in our business, but who ARE we?!

 

We sit there with our jaws dropping, tears in our eyes because we’ve actually been treated like a person, an individual person with our own needs and desires. We were asked what WE want.

WE also have tears in our eyes because the thing is, we actually have NO idea who we are or what we want. None, like no idea at all.

That was me 5 years ago after cutting all ties with the abusive people in my life. I created an pretty intensive program for myself and was able to rediscover who I was and what I wanted quite quickly.

 

It took longer to become crystal clear on what I wanted in my business, but we’ll talk about that another time.

 

I’m starting a 40 day challenge. No TV.

Starting 1st October. No TV at night time. I take Mondays off working all together, so it’s Monday Movie day. I’ll catch up on all my TV shows then, and luckily The Walking Dead is live on a Monday for us in Aust so I can watch it and not have to wait!!!

I’m feeling that pull again to deepen my self awareness which of course deepens my connection with the Divine as we ARE the Divine. Anyways, no TV so I can read all the books that I have stacked up on Kindle, and paperbacks stacked up beside the bed plus the audio courses I want to do!

I totally want to read all these books for further self discovering and knowledge, which of course I share with you guys in a totally easy to understand way.

I needed to find more time, so there it is. No TV through the week for 40 days. 

Want to join me?

I’ll be blogging about it every day, starting 1st October. So keep an eye out! If you’re joining me I wish you the best!

Who do we trust in the “Spiritual” world?

There’s a backlash happening in the world of spirituality. In non-spiritually focused groups I’ve heard lots of rumblings about how badly they had been treated by supposed enlightened people. That they are the rudest people ever met and that they have been put down. 

So instead of coming together in a community of like minded people, there are many people out there that are “spiritual” but are on their own. 
Spirituality is such a general term these days that it can mean so many different things. People read a book and declare that they’re “very spiritual” 
Just like anyone that is in a position of power, which spiritual teachers do have, you will find a LOT of people with narcissistic characteristics. They want to gain control over other people, they like to tell other people what to do, they like to dampen other people’s dreams and keep them “in their place”. 
One warning sign is when the person themselves say “I’m not going to sugar coat things, I’m going to tell you as I see it” this is giving themselves permission to be rude and to tell you what to do! 
Being spiritual does not mean you’re a nice person, it does not mean you possess empathy, it does not mean you’re intuitive, it does not mean you have respect for your fellow sisters.
For me using the words Divine feminine, Sacred feminine, Shaktism indicates much more strongly what my beliefs are, what I want to share with people, who I want to attract into my life and work. It’s way more specific than saying “I’m spiritual.”
When putting our trust in another person, if we go to someone “spiritual” to be mentored, guided, healed, to get a reading, to learn from, we need to ask questions. You need to know who you’re putting your trust in. 
What do they mean when they say they’re a spiritual mentor? What spiritual beliefs do they follow, specifically, what have they studied? When it comes to study I don’t mean they have to have certificates, anyone can get a certificate but what books are they always reading? 
How do they get their guidance? Do they think that their intuition trumps yours? (Because it never does) What sort of personality have they got? What sort of vibe have they got? Are they pressuring you in to working with them? 
How do they make you feel? Take a moment to get out of the head and forget about logic and get into your body, your body will always tell you if this person, situation, or event is right for you. 
I hope to hold circle for women that are interested in living a more feminine way, who want to know more about creating a life you love with the help of our divine Goddesses which lives within each and every one of us. 
 

Boundaries will make you a Superhero!

Everyone talks about boundaries but have you actually taken the time to sit down and figure out what they are, for you? 

It really is essential for your well-being that you consciously know and keep on confirming what you will and won’taccept. Standing firm and sending that message to the Universe is even more powerful.

I’m not saying you have to obsess about your boundaries or think about them incessantly. Just know what they are. Make the commitment to yourself and declare it to the universe. 

We usually don’t think about boundaries until we have been hurt, and usually more than once. We have usually spent a good part of our lives putting up with all sorts of ridiculously harmful behaviour. Especially if we are sensitive. 

If we have been the “nice” girl, the one that doesn’t stand up for herself, the one that doesn’t speak up for herself then that will be in your energetic system and people, the ones that want to control and put down others will pick up on it. You will attract them. 

Once we say “No more!” And mean it, out energy starts to change. 

You must mean it though, for sensitives it can be hard, because we don’t like to hurt anyone in any way, even if they aren’t nice people, even if they have hurt us. We don’t want them to feel the pain that we do when someone has said or done something to upset us. The thing is, they are sensitive like us. Not everyone is. It took me a looooong time to realise this. I thought everyone was sensitive like me, but that just isn’t so.

You need to stop worrying about upsetting those that don’t care about your feelings, who hurt and cause pain to others on purpose as it’s the only way they can feel better about themselves. 

I am conscious the type of people and the type of behaviour I will and won’t accept these days. I’m firm about that in my mind, and it is now in my energy system. I quite literally repel anytype of person that is simply not nice! 

I had this happen to me a while ago. I was hosting a women’s empowerment group and there was a lady that was obviously very hurt but did not want to do anything about it. 

It sounds strange, she’s at an event to help women, you would expect that she wants to get better, on some level she does, but at the conscious level she can’t let go of all the hurt and pain, she doesn’t know who she’d be without that. 

It’s not necessarily that she wants to remain a victim, although that may be the case. She may want to blame everyone else so she does’ have to accept responsibility for her self and her life. 

Either way she was rude, disruptive and disrespectful. 

I on the other hand, just smiled, continued my teaching, when she interrupted I was firm but still nice. I took a moment at lunch break to reaffirm my boundaries. To strengthen them, to declare again to the universe that I will not put up with this kind of behaviour any longer. I could feel that my energy system was strong. I asked the Goddesses for their help. 

The lady came back after lunch with a better attitude, she was listening and jointing in. Then it was like she panicked when she had a glimpse at the type of person she could be, at the positive feelings and behaviour that she could reclaim in her life and she walked out and didn’t return. 

My energy field was stronger, I was reminded that any kind of rudeness or disrespect just isn’t acceptable behaviour and I will not tolerate it off anyone. She then had the choice to accept that and play nice or leave. I had planned to talk to her at the end of the day and ask that she didn’t return the following day.

I really don’t like doing this, but I will if I have to. She was being disruptive to others in the class who were here to learn, she was affecting their energy system, the whole group was suffering just from this one ladies negativity.  

Turns out I didn’t even have to ask her to leave, she just did so of her own accord. It was fabulous! I had been shown just how powerfully I had stepped out of my role of being abused, I had been abused all my life and within a few short years of intense self discovery and healing I was not the same woman at all. I hadn’t lost any of the positive qualities, these had strengthened but I had also strengthened my boundaries and my energetic system. 

It was such a miraculous thing to witness. I felt like a Superhero. One that had an invisible cloak around them that dispelled all negativity. 

Ditch the “Debbie downers” and reclaim your happiness!

The best thing & number 1 thing  you can do to create happiness in your life is to cut off from anybody who drains you of your energy. 

 

Anyone that doesn’t lift you up, who doesn’t respect and support you, they’re not welcome. 

 

We all know the “Debbie downers” never happy with anything, always complaining but not wanting to do anything about it. 

 

Those that friendship is a one way street. You are there to listen to their dramas but if you’ve had a bad day they’re not there for you. Often they’ll just keep complaining about the same drama they’ve been having for weeks. 

 

The “know it all” who interrupts you in mid conversation to tell you what they know. Who has an answer for everything, who will talk over the top of you telling you “how things really are” without any clue as to what they’re talking about. 

 

The egomaniac. It’s always about them. Every sentence starts with I,me and mine. 

 

There’s those that are always trying to bring you down. Always telling you what you can and can’t do. This happens a lot when you start to change. When you decide to go back and study, or start up a business. Usually when you are really excited about something. They will just try and ruin it for you. 

 

Then there’s those that are outright rude. They totally lack common curtesy. 

 

On occasion you can tak to people and tell them how you feel about their behaviour, ask that they stop treating you this way. They may not be aware of what they’re dong. Unfortunately most people will not like you bringing it up. You’ll get a barrage of abuse. 

 

I don’t care if they’re family, if you’ve been friends with them from childhood etc. If these people are bringing you down then you need to cut contact. You don’t need to put up with this sort of behaviour!

 

Once you make the decision and commit to standing by it funny things will happen. You may find that it starts happening more. This is the Universe showing you, reminding you of how horrible it feels when interacting with these people. You don’t need to say anything to them you simply stop interacting with them. Or at the very least keep your interaction to a minimum. They will drop away when you stop giving them attention. 

 

These people will start to sense that you’re energy has changed, that you’re not going to put up with their bad behavior anymore and they will fall away. 

 

I made the commitment a few years ago to not let anyone in my life that didn’t “feel” good. Who were rude, selfish, egotistical. Basically people who aren’t very nice. 

 

I now have the best friendships I’ve ever had in my life. Such wonderfully supportive women around me.

 

Just last week I had an extremely rude person as a client sneak into my life. I’ve worked with 100’s of women and luckily they’ve always been lovely. This particular lady though had an attitude from the beginning. She knew everything, she didn’t listen, she complained and moaned about everything and was just outright rude and disrespectful. Not only that she was disruptive to the other people in the group. 

 

That night I was reminded that I simply wasn’t going to let these people into my life. Whether in my personal or business life. I made the statement again in my mind and made it clear to the Universe that I would only have positive, respectful, uplifting people in any area of my life. 

 

Now I hate being rude. I’m a sensitive empath but I had to remind myself that not everyone is like me, not everyone had this characteristic. I simply wanted no more contact with her. I decided to write an email. I may hurt her pride and her ego but it was clear she wasn’t a sensitive or an empath so it wouldn’t affect her. 

 

Again, I was very clear and stood my ground with this decision and again made it clear to the Universe. 

 

I opened my email to send the letter and she had already sent me one. She wouldn’t’ be attending the next session, and of course went on to whine about things which were simply untrue, but I wasn’t going to get into it with someone who lacks self awareness.

 

So it was great! She was gone, I didn’t have to have any more contact with her at all! What a relief!

 

I’m so grateful for all the lovely women that I get to work with all the time! 1 rude person in 100’s tells me something 🙂

 

When you get crystal clear about what you will and won’t put up with. When you send that intention out into the Universe and firmly stand behind your decision people will start dropping out of your life. You may get some sneaky ones from time to time to make sure you really meant it and to remind you of your decision 🙂 

 

Like I always say, if someone or something feels good, then let that into your life. If it doesn’t get it out of your life. Do this and you will always be following the path of happiness. 

 

(I am creating an online workshop about boundaries, so if you are having problems with other people bringing you down, but you’re sensitive and don’t want to hurt their feelings then watch out for this course and learn to be confident and happy again.)

 

(P.S I know it isn’t this simple to break contact when it comes to domestic abuse.)

First Art Workshop of 2016

First Art workshopin 2016!It was AMAZING! I loved it!

Here are some photos from the weekend. ( I remembered to take photos this time!!)

All in their “zone”.

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Trying out all different mediums.

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Gorgeous painting on wood by Vicki! I adore the texture and the colour!

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I just love this painting by Sandra. With all the bright mixed media in the background making these beautiful women.

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Some really interesting elements in Suzannes’ painting that we played with in some digital apps on the iPad to create some amazing effects.

All the ladies were wonderful. Each workshop is different, each has it’s own energy. Every one teaches me something too, either about teaching or about art which I love. The teacher should always be a student.

 

Direction for 2016.

My first workshop of the year Paint, Peace & Power was a blast. I enjoyed it so very much. I’ve taught before but for some reason it was after THIS class that “teacher” kept on coming into my mind. I felt so energised, so inspired, so at home. Words, exercises just flowing through me with ease.

I felt so easy. I’m an introvert. So you’d think that teaching would be a big fat no. Though not when I’m up there teaching. This is the first time of thought of myself as a teacher. I think the shift from “coach” which I never liked, or used to teacher was the mindset change I needed.

I’ve been holding off on the 1 on 1 work. Not really wanting to do it. (Except for Tarot readings for some reason) Everyone else telling me I “have” to or “should”.

The more I thought about teaching, doing group work, bringing people together in person or virtually on the net I became deeply inspired and excited.

I coincidentally opened an email from someone I don’t recall signing up for with a discount for Akashic record readings specifically for entrepreneurs. It felt right, I did it.

Guess what came up?

I am a teacher, I like to bring people together, I don’t need to plan, I need variety. Plus so many other things. This was the missing pieces! This reading answered the questions I’ve had for some time. How would I put everything I loved together? Why was I so against 1:1 work? Why was the way that felt good to me not talked about, I seemed, so different.

This gave me permission and encouragement to do my business my way. When you follow your Soul, and this is my Souls work then everything falls into place.

If you want to know what your soul is yearning for book a reading with Peggy Freeh.

I had been saying to myself for a while. I just want to be surrounded by a group of women and paint!

I just want to read books, study and teach people what I’ve learned.

I want to hold retreats.

I want to do e-courses.

I’ve had e-courses all planned in my head. 1 for about 3 years. Another for about a year.

Now I’m excitedly thinking about and feeling into the retreats, the e-courses. Ahhhh, this is it! It’s finally it!

I’ve been waiting for this moment for EVER! All I’ve ever wanted to do was work for myself. Then a about 4 years ago when I discovered you can have a business online I knew that was for me. THAT was the thing. Since then though it’s been frustrating!

So many ideas on what I want to teach. Not being able to stick to just 1 thing. Listening to too many other people rather than my own intuition. I’ve always been naturally intuitive but these years have taught me that intuition works in every area of your life. It doesn’t have to be a huge thing. My Guides and Goddesses are wanting to help me in every way.

 

 

 

Basic Art supplies you need to start.

Art Supplies.

Download this as a PDF below.
I’ve tried to make it easy for you to get started.
Try not to get too overwhelmed with all the art supplies. Two things stop people from creating. The first, they think they can’t but probably haven’t tried and secondly they think it’s too expensive or they don’t know what to get.
I’ve tried to give you the absolute basics of what you need then a way of adding to your supplies.

If you’re in the USA you can get everything from Dick Blick. I also believe that Michaels is a good place to buy some art supplies.

In Australia it’s a bit more tricky. I’ve tried to direct you to the places where I buy things. Mostly Eckersleys.

If you’re in the UK, I’m not sure where you get your art supplies from. I’ve heard it’s harder to get your art supplies and you pay taxes when you buy from O/S. If you know of some good art supply places please let me know so I can add it to this PDF.

Acrylic:

Get the fluid acrylic paint. I suggest Jo Sonja’s or Dick Blick. These aren’t student grade which you want to try and avoid if possible, they are a good price and I really love working with them.

You’ll want to get at the very minimum your 5 primary colours.
White, Black, Red, Blue, Yellow.
These of course will make any colour.

Add white or black to your primary colours and you get different shades. You can have a lot of fun exploring mixing different colours and you’ll get a really good understanding of colours.

Secondly
You can add a couple of colours that you really like. Purples and violets can be a little tricky to make so if you like these colours grab some of them.
A tip is to get the darker colours, it is easier to lighten them just by adding white. (Black is harder to work with to get darker colours.)

If you want the fluid paints to be even more fluid and transparent get Glazing Medium this will make your paints transparent and you can add layers to make it darker.

You can also add water to make it more fluid, not too much as it will lessen the pigmentation, the colour. Play with this, start at 50/50 then use less water and see what consistency you like.

To make your paints more Heavy body use Super Heavy Gel either in matte or gloss. Thoroughly mix the gel with the paint and you’ve got a heavy body paint.

If you’ve bought heavy body and you want to make them more fluid you can use glazing medium or the standard matte or gloss medium.

The next step.
A lot of people like the Golden paints, especially those doing mixed media or that are layering a lot. Get a couple of these paints and see how you like them. They are more expensive than your other paints. These are hard to get in Australia, the place I used to buy them have just closed down.

If you’re not interested in the Golden paints then either add to your fluid collection or start buying some heavy body paints.

With the heavy body paints I highly recommend Liquitex.

You’ve also got the ink acrylics which I love. These come in Daler Rowney FW or Liquitex. I prefer the Daler Rowner FW and these also come in a pearlescent range.

Silk Acrylics. I’ve forgotten to put these in the videos. (I’ll add it on at some stage.) These are delicious. They’re metallic glazes, which means they’re transparent. They come in very small size. You wouldn’t do a whole painting with these but they’re great for highlighting areas.)
http://www.colourarte.com/products/ You can buy directly from the makers, these are the people who make Twinkling H2O’s as well (watercolours, see below)

Tip
If you’ve got a couple of hundred dollars that you want to spend on art supplies it is usually worth going to www.dickblick.com it is in the US so watch what the Aussie dollar is like. You will also be charged shipping BUT even with this it usually ends up being cheaper. Make sure the purchase is under $1000 or you will get charged import tax. You can get your Golden’s and your Daler Rowney FW inks. (They will not ship Liquitex)
I buy most of my things for www.eckersleys.com in Australia or from Dick Blick in the US. There is also www.luluarts.com that have some things.

Try and avoid student grade paints, but if you have to then get a Liquitex medium to mix with it which will help to keep the colours more vivd.

Watercolour
Watercolour, so much to choose from.
Watercolour is really cheap to get started with. I recommend the Koi round watercolour set.

I love the colours in the Golden QOR’s and the Daniel Smith watercolours. These come in tubes.

Secondly

I highly recommend you try acrylic. They’re LOTS of fun. I mostly use acrylic these days.

If you love watercolour and want to keep going that route then try out some other products by buying individual colours and seeing which you like the best. Or by purchasing a starter pack.
Tombow brushes, Inktense, Neo-carandache II (make sure they’re the II’s, these are watercolour.)

Twinkling H2O’s I LOVE. I love metallic, shiny colours. These you can buy in packs and you can get them from www.craftonline.com which is in Australia. I was lucky enough to find the full set of these on ebay.

The Peerless Watercolours that come on the tabs you can get from www.janedavenport.com in Australia.

What else you’ll need:

Substrates – Something to paint on.

If you’re using watercolour you have to use watercolour paper or the expensive aqua board and clapboard.

With Acrylic you can paint on pretty much anything.
Watercolor paper you can Gesso this first, you don’t have to. If I’m doing lots of layers or playing with some watercolour on it first I don’t use Gesso.

Canvas, HAS to have Gesso on this before you can paint. If you buy pre-made canvas they usually come with Gesso already on them.

Wood. This is another cheap way. Go to the hardware store (Bunnings in Australia) and get plywood then have it cut to the sizes you want. It’s easy to do yourself or pay a little extra to get Bunnings to do it.

Tip
Don’t spend a lot of money on substrates. Save the money to buy good paint.

Mixed Media paper is sometimes recommended, I never use it. I just stick with a good watercolour paper. The Canson watercolour pad works great for me. Get a descent watercolour paper but you don’t need to go over the top.

Paint brushes

Again, no need to buy expensive paint brushes. Save your money to buy good paints. You can get brush sets at the craft store or in art supply shops.

Foam brushes are good to use, these are cheap and just come in a set.
These really soak up the paint so squeeze the paint out with your fingers and use it.

Palette knives. These are good to play with. A plastic set will be fine and are cheap.

Other

You’ll need something to hold your water in. Just old ice cream containers are fine.

A paint palette can come in handy especially if you’re using watercolour. You can just get cheap plastic ones.

You’re going to need something to put the acrylic paint onto. Get a sheet of glass or perplex, put white paper underneath so you can see the true colour.

Other art supplies
Gelli plates are a lot of fun. If you’ve done the Paint, Peace, Power you’ve probably had a go at this. There’s so much you can do with these once you’ve finished with them. Use them as collage, make journals, run them through apps on the smart phone or tablet. (I’m going to be doing an online course on this. Using Gelli prints with the iPad to come up with art and collage paper.)

Clean up

Don’t waste your paint! Have some paper beside you to wipe your brushes of excess paint before putting them into your water container to clean. Some with foam brushes, these soak up so much paint, make sure you squeeze it out with your fingers and put back on your palette or put on your wipe up paper.
Any paint left over on your palette put on your wipe up paper.
I use watercolour paper to do this. This becomes the first layer of another painting. Or you can cut them up for collage pieces.

The most important thing.

Have fun! Try things out. Let go, create intuitively.

Click the link below to download the PDF.

Art Supplies

Daily Quick Tip #3: Take time out to think.

Don’t just go through the motions. Don’t blindly keep at the same job you’ve had for 10 years even though you hate it. Don’t blindly stay in a relationship just because the people around you think you’ll stay together forever.

If you’re staying awake at night and can’t go to sleep, chances are you’re thinking about something you haven’t given yourself time to think about through the day.

Take time out to think. Put the day in your planner and just spend the day thinking about your life. What do you want in every aspect of your life? How are you going to make that happen?

Take time out to think about that thing that’s niggling at you keeping you awake at night.

People seem to think that if they’re not taking action all the time then they’re “slacking off” or wasting time. This seems to come from companies where as an employee you’ve got to be running around like a goose with it’s head chopped off!

Taking action all the time and not thinking about what you want in your life or what you’re going to do about that problem. Then things will get out of hand. You’ll just stay with that worry, with that anxiety building. You’ll stay in place and with people that bring you down because you’re stuck in action mode all the time.

You’ve got to take time out to think before you take action or you’re not going to be taking the right action.

See the video below as I talk about this.

 

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Daily Quick Tip #2.

Only have supportive people in your life. 

Make sure the people in your life are uplifting and supportive. I see so many people with “friends” that are bringing them down. They don’t want to see them get ahead, or to change, to have a life they love.

They fear change. Instead of looking up to you and following your lead to have more joy and happiness in their lives they just don’t have the ability to do this. So instead of being happy for you they will try to pull you down, try to keep you at their level.

I want you to make a checklist of everything you want in a friend. What does your best friend look like? How do they make you feel?

Now make a list of all your friends and see who meets your needs. As you grow you will outgrow some of the people that are in your life. That’s just the way it is.

Who will you keep and who will you let go of?

Watch the replay of my Periscope talk below.